Big Wide World

i am not yet a parent. and i don't pretend to know anything about what it's like to raise children, or how to raise them.

but there is one thing that i think that i do know. if your child sucks at something that they probably will never be able to get better at, for the love of god, tell them. case in point, singing. if your child dreams of being a singer, rock star, r&b star, whatever, and they can't sing a note on key if you shoved that key down their throats, why in hell would you not tell them. you're not doing them any favours. they just end up going on American Idol (or Canadian Idol, cause i have to represent my peeps) and making an ass of themselves.

point number two (and this is something i am qualified to make some comments about). i DO NOT, for the life of me, understand how these people, who HAVE TO know that they, um, SUCK, can go on a show that millions of people watch (i'm not sure why either, b/c the only good thing about that show is the auditions, but that's another matter) and make absolute and total asses of themselves. and i know what making an ass of yourself is, as anyone who has ever seen me drink will attest to. i have pretty much fallen on my ass (literally) quite a bit. but even i have my embarrassment cut off level, even after a bottle of sherry.

so, the lesson of the day is: sober people make bigger asses of themselves and to greater masses of people, the level to which the rest of us drunkards can't even imagine coming close to (guy in heidi outfit), and parents, either tell your children then suck (no sugar coating, no mary poppins), or, teach them to drink early, cause they'll just make an ass of themselves to a small crowd that, in all likelihood, are also pretty drunk, and they won't remember the shame in the morning either. not like the sober kids that yelp and put themselves on video for all to enjoy and shake their heads in awe, feeling better about their own inadequacies.

p.s. my boss is SOOO much cooler than me, b/c she met, the one, the only, david bowie. that's right. talked to him for 10 minutes. i suck, but does it could, and can i be, within the 6 degrees of separation of david bowie if my boss met him, or does it not work that way?