Big Wide World

there are a couple of things that i can't stand. namely stupid people, and people who try to fool me (and you). this is about the latter.

but first, i have to apologize to my male readers b/c i don't really know if you can relate to this. see, this is about the intermost workings of the secrets behind the female bathroom. and, seeing as how i'm a woman, and don't spend much time in the male bathroom (you notice i said much), i can't really guess as to whether this rings true for men. somehow, i think that it would, though i don't think that you'd notice this kind of thing (unless you're more nosey than i assume).

also, i don't know why i am paying attention to this, b/c i have something else to do at the moment, but it's an annoyance, so i noticed.

ok, so, ladies. you're in the bathroom, and there's someone else in there. you finish doing what it is that you have to do, and you get up to that moment in which you say to yourself: "well, there's someone else in here, so i know that they can hear what's going on, and i can't just walk out and not wash my hands, they don't know me, but they'll still judge me. if there was noone here, i'd just walk out. so, i'll just splash some water on my hands for 2 seconds just so they hear the water." i know that some of you have done this. b/c i hear it.

i am a hand washer. its just this annoying little habit i have. call it a quirk. if you knew my mother, you would believe me completely. i cannot go into the bathroom and walk out without washing my hands. i tried. i was at the door, almost free, but my mothers voice came shreaking in like a banchee. and i HAD to go back. now, if it was anything else, i'd resist. but this just happens to be one of the annoyingly obsessive habits that i'm glad i can't walk away from. but, for the others that don't have a crazy obsessive mother... you should.

i hear you in there. you walk up to the sink, spray water on your hands for a second, and then dry off the little drop of water that you actually managed to get on your finger. you're not fooling anyone. time didn't just lapse for me, and i don't believe that you're superwoman that you can turn on the tap, pour out soap, effectively wash your hands and turn off the tap in 2 seconds. if superman washed his hands, i doubt even he could do that in 2 seconds.

point is this. if you're going to go thru the motions of actually making it look like you're washing your hands, at least leave the water running for like 10 seconds. don't wash (well, actually, please wash) but at least be smart enough to know that 2 seconds of the sound of water running doesn't make me believe that you actually washed your hands. and don't insult my intelligence. oh, and yes, i am judging you, even if i don't know you, that's just who i am.

i have died and gone to hell. and hell is a place in which you have the money and great malls with all the perfect little sweaters and purses, and everything is just exactly what you wanted, but you have no energy to buy them. that is my personal hell.

i know, there are worse things in the world. people are dying of disease and hunger, maria carey wishes she was as thin as those children in the third world countries who are surrounded by flies, people are getting stoned for expressing their opinions or natural desires.... but i'm in hell b/c i have more money than i've ever had, there are a lot of really cute things to buy, but i can't muster the energy to get into a mall (oh my god, a mall, i'm drooling and in excruciating pain all at the same time).

i am shallow.... i am materialistic... my favourite song when i was like 10 or something was Material Girl. i have no guilt in admitting this. i like things.. pretty things, shiny things. though i don't think i've ever looked at a starving desperate child in some poor third world country, and think "oh, they are soooo lucky, they are so thin".

but is having the energy to shop asking for that much? i mean, we all have our salvation. some do it thru religion, some thru meditation, others thu drugs.... mine happens to be shopping.

and i'm going thru withdrawls. for example, yesterday i had a nightmare that i was a pirate (shut it, at least i was the only femal pirate surrounded by nice looking male pirates) and i found really pretty glowing natural rocks. mind you, in the end, i heard the men plotting to kill me for them. but that's besides the point. i'm dreaming of shiny THINGS.

i am soulless, shallow, i have no depth. like you're any better.

i tried not to do it, but with the annoying day that i've had, this is the perfect moment for my rant fest.

the whole political cartoon vs. religion thing. could this be more annoying, ridiculous, over the top, stupid (insert any other word you feel is appropriate). i'm not going to be politically correct about it at all. its just stupid. its a friggin political cartoon, its satire, its a message within a message to try to inspire thought, or represent an issue. its not just done in foul attempts to hurt.

and now, its moved into canada. our reporters have "chosen" not to show the cartoons, and are limiting their freedom of expression and journalism to appease a group. that's crap. last i checked, you needed to show the whole story in order to let people decide for THEMSELVES what they felt. how exactly can you talk about something without presenting the core of what you're talking about. if i was talking about fred, can someone really understand fred in his entirety without seeing him? no, b/c they will picture in their minds what they want to picture, and that by definition becomes slanted and obscured.

and, well, just in case i do need to point this out, this is CANADA. as in land of freedom of speech, expression. land of the charter which, if anyone remembers, guarantees those rights.

there was a muslim woman on omni 2 speaking about the whole affair, and she was mentioning how religion should be respected blah blah blah, and how apparently there might be the beginnings of a legal fight in order to try to get religion protected from being "made fun of" and disrespected (violin in the background). and, in order to try to get people to support this and jump on the bandwagon, she was speaking about getting all religions involved in this, not just muslim, blah blah blah. i'm catholic so i can say this cause i have a stake in it.

i'm opposed to this, i'm sure any rational thinking person is opposed to this. and i will fight this fight. cause if we allow this to happen, where do we draw the line. next we'll have political groups declaring themselves holier than though, and they will want protection. FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

but, if we're going on that bandwagon, then, i have an idea. i'm going to declare myself a religious or political group (i just need two more persons to join). its going to be the "Alliance in the Advancement of Me". and i will demand that i be protected from political cartoons and satire in the entire world. other countries will be governed by my rules and i will tell them what they are and are not allowed to say about me. everyone in the world will have to be nice to me, not say one bad thing about me, noone will be able to make fun of me in any way. pretty much be very very nice to me. and i will do this b/c i can. oh wait. no i can't. cause its stupid (there is no better word).

get over yourselves. what someone else, and more importantly, what another country wants to do is their business. also, as far as canada's freedoms go, we respect the religion in that you get to practice it, you have your institutions and traditions, you are free to exercise them, but if i want to stand on the street corner and express my opinion without inciting a riot or physically hurting someone, then that is my RIGHT. you wanna stand there an call me an alcohol b/c i'm a polack, go for it. you wanna make fun of the pope (my polish pope whom i admire so), GIVER. that's your opinion. you don't like the laws here? make like a tree.

so lisa had another baby this weekend. yeah yeah, i know i know, how wonderful..... focus. this is about me.

i'm freaking out. my friend is on her second baby and i can't grow up enough to stop burning my tongue with burning red sugar. while she ensures the survival of two human beings who are not able to take care of themselves, i try to ensure that my purse matches my coat. while she loving strives to raise good people, i kill my plants (and its a cactus so that's real hard to do), and while.. well, you get the point.

i cannot image being able to raise two helpless little persons who depend on me every minute of every day for their survival, nutrition, love, nurturing etc. i am having a panic attack just thinking about it.

and what makes it worse is that i know i would end up screwing up my kids and they would end up either spoiled rotten princesses with no real thought in her head or the testosterone jerk who does the gun salut at a bar and is a complete bigot. i mean, i know i could take a lot. i can handle freaks, and sexual orientation is not a problem, i can handle crossdressing and lazy pot smoking teenagers. but i could not handle "those girls" (like, oh my god, i think i broke a nail) and "those guys" (hey honey, do you wanna watch how much weights i can press while i watch myself in the mirror).

give me the cross-dressing alternative sexual orientation freak pot smoking teenager any day. which, just cause i know how screwed up i can get (and i have a rather colourful family that would help things along) is going to be the choice i am going to get offered. god is personally going to come down, laughing and mocking me, and he's going to say "dude..." (puff) [yes god smokes and calls me dude], "this is your choice, do you choose a. or b.?". and i'm, like, sooooo going with the former.

i am destined to screw up my children. or i'll end up an old woman with a thousand cats.

but congrats lisa on a beautiful new baby girl (and a beautiful soon to be 2 year old son).

i am a child. yup, i admit it.... c-h-i-l-d.

why do i admit this? and what is it that makes me a child? well, let me tell you my friends. first of all, i admit it b/c sometimes it is only when we admit our tendencies out loud, that we learn about our bad habits and we can change them.

ok, you know when you were a kid, you wanted to touch everything, and do everthing, even though people told you not to do it? then you'd do it, and it would hurt or be icky, you'd learn your lesson, for like 10 minutes, and then you'd do it again? yeah, that's me.

take for example my lack of self control with cinnamon hearts. shut up, some people become gamblers or alcoholics, i am a cinnamon-heart-aholic. its a bad habit. first of all, i can't stop at just a couple. i have to take a bunch at a time, and then another and another. it turns my mouth red, and that's not fun. its so staining that it doesn't just go away b/c i brush my teeth, it stays there for over a day. i almost dream cinnamon. so i walk around with my shame on my tongue. and whenever i talk, people inevitable ask me "what's with your tongue?" and i have to confess my shameful addiction. and finally, um, it hurts to eat that many hot cinnamon candies at once. seriously.. it hurts. try it. its almost ridiculous that cinnamon can taste so good and burn so much. and you'd think i'd learn. but nooooo, i am a child. i don't learn. i just want hot burning cinnamon candies. also, apparently, i'm a masochist too, but that's another story.

went out tonight. and while i'm no longer really a fan of going out to the movies, we went cause it was something to do.

there were like 10 movies playing, and nothing seemed good. so, we finally settled on "the matador" with pierce brosnan and greg kinnear. what can i say? with liners like "I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town" you know you're going to enjoy the movie. its funny, touching, rude, and sometimes so wrong that its amazing. finally, i have seen a movie that has brought some dialogue and enjoyment back into movie watching. i laughed at the absurd hilariousness of the whole thing. i marveled at the originalness of the story. i was touched by the well presented friendship by these two male characters. its existentialism at its best (the absurdity without the pretentiousness). in the middle of watching the movie i knew it would be one of my all time favs. if you pick up one movie in the coming days, and you enjoy content, dialogue, crudeness, and a smart movie, run to your rental store and see this movie. way to step out of james bond and into some real acting pierce.

sorry, i don't usually do critiques, but i am highly impressed with this movie. whoever did the advertising for this movie really missed the ball. i almost didn't see it.

How sweet was CSI today. a woman is distraught b/c a psycho tortures and kills her daughter. so, at the end of the episode, she kidnaps the guy, straps him to the front of a car, and starts lashing him. and i mean some vicious torturous lashes.

that is my kinda lady and my kinda justice.

so that would be my next job. but no, i'm not saying that people would be able to hire me to torture someone that they felt deserved to be tortured. that would be wrong. they would have to have been seriously wronged by someone. then they could hire me to do something more like... consulting work. yeah. that's good. i could consult people. psyche them up, advise them of the effective and noneffective things to do. i wouldn't even charge so much. almost free. i would do it just b/c it... does my heart good.

is it so wrong that i want to take the gangbanger that shoots an innocent little girl, take him to an island somewhere, give him a 2 hours head start, and hunt him down like the dog that he is?

i'm all about niceties and all that other C*&p, but our society is in the destructive state that its in b/c we let it happen. its not tv, its not the music, its b/c there is no accountability. we put people who sell pot in jail for years, but the guy who rapes a woman gets something like 8 months (on average). does noone see a problem with this. you think that that 8 months tells other men that rape isn't acceptable? i'm sick of the overly liberal approach we take to the growing state of brutality that we accept as society.

gimme an island for the day, a long range, a car, some camouflage, and we'll see how much justice i feel i got. cause i assure you, i'll be sleeping peaceful.