Big Wide World

i have mentioned before that i think that i'm pretty good at self-evaluation. and i can prove it.

self-evaluation means that you can look within and admit the things that you do, good or bad. well, i'm here to admit that self-evaluation has made me realize that i'm a loser. a geek, geekish if you will. oh, i know... impossible... you say. especially my friends who know me for the ever so sophisticated.... shut it. i can hear you laughing.

ok, so i've been known to fall on my ass in the middle of a crowded dance floor, and other slightly less that elegant moments. you don't sprain your right ankle 5 times and your left ankle 6 times by not being a loser (hey, i have a perfectly good explanation for every single sprain. can i help it if i'm doing a conga line drunk on the steap stadium stairs?).

but recently i've realized that the older i get, the more geekish i get. mind you, in a few years, i will have to give up the word geekish (which is still "oh, that's funny but kind of cute"), to embarassing. but i still have a few years for that. now, let me tell you the two things that i realized i do that make me quite the geek.

1. when i cheer for something or when i like something that i see on tv, when i'm watching alone, i cheer out loud and i clap my hands. but that pathetic kind of really speedy silent clap. you know the one, every valley girl has done it in every badly stereotyped teeny bopper movie.

2. when i hear something funny, i will repeat it back to myself quietly, and laugh. (example: one of the guys on 'the daily show' was doing a telephone interview and said something to the effect of "while there is no 'i' in we, there are two in 'dickishness'" - and i said to myself with noone else in the room "dickish" ha ha.)

they're small things, yes, hardly worth the mention. but they're little things that are adding up to make me more and more geekish as i get older. also, i'm think i'm kind of amuzed at how much of a loser i am.