Big Wide World

There are times that i feel like a grown up, and there are times that i don't. today is a don't day.

let me explain. do you remember when you were young.... no, younger than that, when one of your close friends got into a fight with someone else, and even though you didn't know this other douche, excuse me, girl, you HATED her and everthing that she represented, just b/c she hurt your friend? if you're a girl reading this, i know you know what i mean, b/c every girl went thru this. we are not rational sometimes, and other times we will probably do something stupid and mean to our best friend, but nothing bonds stronger than an outsider hurting a friend.

so, that's what i went thru today. i have a friend who, for one reason or another, split from her significant other (more serious than just a boyfriend). and there is another girl involved in the story. you can probably guess how. so, i'm trying to be a grown up about this, and i'm trying to be open to this girl. but its just not happening. mind you, it doens't have to b/c this "other" girl means nothing to me. but i wanted to be the grown up. but that 9 year old petty, mean, vandictive, gossiping, spiteful little girl is just sneaking up on me. i find i am plotting little stories in my head of how to be in the same room with this girl (and the guy) and what i would do. of course, the 29 year old in me takes over before i do anything stupid; but still, what i wouldn't give to be able to let that 9 year old out for like 5 minutes. b/c as anyone that knows me can testify to, hell hath no fury like me out for blood.