Big Wide World

The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.
Karl Marx

so true, so true.

i've been sitting at home all day, forced to do nothing but watch tv, b/c everything else hurts like hell. lying down hurts, sitting hurts, standing hurts, walking hurts, laughing hurts, and moving causes nausea and tears. sound like fun?? yeah, let me tell you how much. i hurt so bad i don't think i've ever been in so much pain in my life. why? sciatica. i don't wish it on my worst enemy as they say. and when i do find a position that doesn't hurt, eventually i have to move b/c everyelse starts to hurt b/c i've been in the same position for too long. drugs don't work. fun fun, skippity doo.

its funny what random things come into your mind when you're bored and trying to distract yourself from the one thing that you can't stop thinking about.

product use with trust

recently, i recommended one of my favourite hair conditions to one of my cousins, and she LOVED it. its a product that's not really advertised on tv (i'll tell you the product in a sec), and i heard about it through a friend. and without this word of mouth from TRUSTED friends, i wouldn't have known about, or if i did know about it, i don't know if i would have tried it. there are many reasons, one being companies want to sell you stuff, they aren't very honest, and they pay millions to hype their product. at least when i hear something from a friend, i know that it worked for them, or it did something that they really liked. so, that's what i wanna do here (and in the future, maybe in a new blog with other friends). i took marketing 101 (ha ha). but, and this, i think, is important, being that i don't know the principles behind selling, or how to effectively sell, i'm relying on what i know and i don't have an agenda of selling.

anyways, the point of the entries in the blog are that we always use new products (cleaning, tech, food, music, restaurants, whatever). i'm sick of trying new stuff (well, i don't mean i'm sick of trying new stuff, just paying for stuff that doesn't live up), not knowing anything except some glorified commercial, and being disappointed. i'll be making my first list below. if you have things that you love, tell me (us) about it. i think this would be a cool new blog. we'll see.

my first short list of random things i can't go without:
Back to Basics "Halo Hydrating Shampoo and Conditioner" (the one i recommended)
Yves Rocher Ode A L'Amoure perfume
Lysol Disinfecting Wipes in Citrus (makes kitchen smell soo good)
Jack Astor's Thai Coconut Chicken Curry
Montana's Spinach Dip
Nature's Impulse Tahini (sesame seed tasting sauce to add when cooking-healthy and good- will write a description at some point)
Master's Choice Variety Pack Herbal Tea
Nescafe Rolo Coffee
Orangina (carbonated drink)
Scissor Sisters, Lhasa, and The Killers CDs
my acer tablet pc
my motorola v600 cell

For certain is death for the born
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve.

Life does not cease to be funny when
people die any more than it ceases to
be serious when people laugh.

Never knock on Death's door: ring the
bell and run away! Death really hates that!

Love is stronger then death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.

it is no easy task to be kind, compassionate, loving, and to have ppl say about you "i am a better person for having known your heart". i thank whatever force that lead you into my life, even if you were taken before i really got to know you again. RIP. i love u.

being that its gay pride this week, and everyone and everyone is talking about gay marriage, i wanted to add my two cents worth. i was watching citytv today and they issue was on the table, and ppl called in to give their opinion. here's the thing. these ppl were trying to pass off their opinions as well crafted and even intelligent arguments. let me paraphrase one caller: "i'm against gay marriage b/c its not natural and the bible says that its a sin". these were just two of her points. first of all, when you're making an argument, make sure your audience, and you, know the definition as usage of the terms that you're going to be using. what the hell is 'natural'? marriage is a man made institution (economic at that) and there is nothing natural about it. we have adopted it as a regular practice. its not like marriage sprung out of the group and made itself. so pls refrain from throwing that term around when speaking about something that was fabricated out of nothing simply for comfort and economic gain (i'm not bashing marriage, casue i believe in marriage. i'm not speaking of worth and meaning, simply pointing out that it's not natural and its history).
second of all (and i'm catholic so i'm not bashing anything) but 'because the bible says so' isn't a logical argumentative point. if anything, i would argue that its a fallacy b/c its an appeal to authority (loosely). last i checked, this was a secular country, and we cannot let religion guide our laws (and don't worry, i'm not naive, i know that that is utopian and unrealistic since religion does have something to say in canadian politics).
another caller called in and said that marriage has traditionally been between a man and a woman (but we have, for long periods of time in the world's and canada's history, held traditional beliefs that proved to be wrong- slavery, racist, pre-women't movement rights treatment of women etc etc etc). the test for evaluating 'traditional' views, laws, and rights should be looking to the future, not to the past (for example, i often think what would ppl in 50 yrs think of what we are doing today).
in the end, gay rights (gay marriage) is ONLY a question of human rights. that's it, finito, bottom line. its not a religion issue (not in the political scene- keep it in your churches), its not a question of tradition, or history, and anything else that you think weighs in on this issue. it only boils down to the following: canada is a country that favours group rights (right or wrong) and when dealing with human rights, if you're going to give rights to groups, then you have to give those same rights to all the groups. its so unbelieveable to me that a woman, or someone in a religious minority could call in and say that they don't support gay rights when they themselves are obviously making use of the rights that they have been recently given, and that they did not 'traditionally' have. isn't that a little hypocritical? i would have to say that homophobia and the lack of gay rights is the last allowable discrimination of our time. and for those that are opposed to gay marriage, can you imagine as a woman or as a black minority, the government saying that you couldn't marry? would you be ok with that? same thing. it doesn't matter whether you approve of homosexuality. the issue is whether its constitutional not to allow homosexuals to marry. IT ISN'T!!!!!!!!

the pseudo-intellectual bumper sticker quotation of the day is (drum roll pls): "don't believe everything you think". yeah, ok, i might have some harsh political/social/legal ideas, but at least i'm not just regurgitating information that i heard on the news (and god forbid that news was cbc or cnn). i can't fathom the idea that despite the world of information that we live in, ppl (read sheep) still just state the theory or popular view of the month b/c it falls right in there with the latest trend. i guess we've become so capitalist that our thoughts and ideas are up for sale to the most sparkly bright shiny rhetorical speech spewing psycopath corporation behind the flavour of the month politician. lets get it together ppl. otherwise, the state will continue to break their promises, and they'll continue to try to feel us the limited a/b multiple choice option to the latest social problem. they don't want us to be educated, cause then would have to stand accountable, but why are we making it easy for them? todays title, translated (from german-yes i'm trying to take it up again in my spare time), means "here, there is no why". if you can think it, why not question it out loud? or are we doomed to the existentialist theory of absurdity that states that we forget about thinking and questioning b/c we get tangled in the mindless drama of the everyday, from the "normal" and "desired" roles that we are supposed to want to take on? believe b/c you think.

had another great family bbq yesterday, this time at my mom's house. got lucky b/c there were dark clouds all day, and it didn't rain (we were sure it would). 15 in attendance, lots and lots of great food, and lots of drinking. surprisingly, i think the only ppl that didn't get drunk, or at least tipsy, were justina, martin and me (all of us under the age of 35), and all the parents were pretty juiced. fun though. i have a huge bruise on my right upper arm (i would show you but its gross b/c someone fell and i happened to be there to break his fall. other than that, went off without a hitch.

went and saw Mr & Mrs. Smith tonight. dude, totally diggin' it. i'm sorry and i hate that i like it, but i sooo did. fun little movie. and angelina and brad- total chemistry. ok, seriously. it's a fun movie with a fairly good story, witty humour, and great action sequences. absolutley gonna get the dvd.

tomorrow night, its off to bier markt i go (du du, du du du du du du). pretty much always have a good time, and hoping that that's true for tomorrow night. got my hair done the other day (check), have killer new lipstick (check), need a new shirt (almost check). good to go. will try to take some pics but not sure i wanna be taking the cam (maybe the cell cam but will see).
that's it for today, no rant today sorry (nancy). nothing pissed me off today so that's a good day. now i'm off to do my 1000 puzzle (yes, i'm doing a puzzle- but it's for work- long story). love u

WELL WELL WELL, SEEMS THAT MY PROBLEMS WITH BELL ARE STILL THERE. MY HOPES ABOUT IT BEING FIXED WERE JUST THAT, HIGH HOPES. BASTARDS. CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE AND CANCEL IT.

i know some of you enjoyed my rant about my bell problems. well, good thing i had the sense not to order a work order to go ahead and fix my phone, cause now everything is fine. yeah, just like that, the problems went away. of course, i'm thinking enough ppl complained cause they had the same prob. and so bell had to come in and fix it. that's fine, as long as i didn't have to pay for it. and i think the general concensus (after reading jay's blog) is that BELL SUCKS. when i move, i'm SOOO switching companies. what ever happened to the good ol' days (even as not so far back as 10 years ago) in which the companies cared about us?? when they did things to try to keep you as a customer and worked for it? obviously, those days are gone. so, when i can, i try to go to the underdog, the one that still cares about me and my money (well, my money anyway). bloody big business and conglomerate bastards. in jays words, WTF?

had a big family bbq this saturday. it was great. had a really good time, just sitting around, chatting, bbqing. nice way to spend the afternoon and evening. and we're doing it again this weekend, this time at my mom's place. i'm making polish cucumber salad, and chicken caesar.

funniest thing! i'm watching some interview about star wars, and g. lukas says that star wars is NOT a science fiction film. are you ready for this, he says that its a space opera. what??? dude, get over yourself, its just a sci-fi film, no matter how "great" it is, and how "iconic", etc etc. he said that its b/c its larger than life blah blah blah. then he goes on to say that the acting is "shakespearean". oh, wow, talk about making it into more than it is. don't get me wrong, i'm going to go see it, but lets not exaggerate. i think somewhere along the line he got a little bit of an ego and fantasies of grandeur. this would go under the "gimme a break" category. again, its just a sci-fi movie.

i don't know if it's just me, if i'm crazy (whacked out and totally freakin' bonkers) or if this is just nuts and unreasonable. you be the judge. here's the situation.
i'm having problems with my phone line (as magda will attest to), and so i call Bell to try to figure it out. of course, shocker, they don't know what's wrong (oh my god, what a huge surprise). anyway, i tell him what's going on, and he asks me if there's construction going on around me et cetera et cetera. then he gets into the schpiel (you know it, its bullshit in another form). this is what he says: "you live in a building right? yeah, that could be a problem. so i could send a guy out there, but that'll cost $69 (give or take a dollar or so- wouldn't want anyone suing me b/c i misquoted the price- and you know they would), and he can test the line, and if he finds a problem, that'll cost $99 to fix it (again, give or take a dollar)." so, let me understand this situation. i'm paying them $30 a month for phone service, and now i'm having problems with my phone service, and while i have nothing to do with the lines (not like i got into the building tel/T.V room and started messing around with the lines), and have no way to directly affect it, i'm still going to be charged about $170 to get it fixed. does that sound right? well, not right, but accurate? am i misunderstanding the situation at all? am i stupid b/c i don't understand why i'm being charged for something that is faulty and has nothing to do with my direct contact and handling?
this world is going mad, and i'm going mad with it. oh, and did i get the work order going for the guy to fix it???? Um, helllll NOOOOO. the words kiss my white fucking ass come to mind. i will fucking cancel my service before i pay all that money for their fucking incompetence. so now i've still got a problem and i don't know what to do about it. nice ey? for almost $30 a month.
well, there are better and worse companies, and this one would not go into my personal "better" list.

Had the potluck at my place sunday. why don't i do that more often? it was a good time, lots of food (honey garlic chicken, mashed potatos, caesar salad, lasagna, fruit salad, 7 layer choc fudge cake, donuts, chips- i might be forgetting something). anyways, good food, and just good ol' sitting around and talking with friends. here's a pic of mel and nico on my balcony (cutest baby ever!!!!!! i love him)

as some of you that know me, you know that i'm all about customizing things. my comp (one and two), my pda, my cell (everything). its a sickness really. some nights, i'm up till way past sunrise trying to find the perfect program (preferably freeware or beta) to do that thing that i just have to have it do. and most of the time, i succeed. between my two comp and pda, i can pretty much do anything, and they do everything but wash the dishes (muhahahaha).
recently, i've obsessing over my cell. i wanted new ringers. and since it plays mp3 rings, well, i had to have something specific. i looked at some sites, but they all cost, and i knew that i could do it for free. so, ha ha. i did it. here's the method to the madness that kept me up till 7am. first, i figured i could just use music clips. so i went onto amazon (or any other sites that provides albums, songs, and sample clips). then i needed to cature them somehow. recording thru mic is lousy b/c the sound sucks. so i downloaded freecorder, which captures sound directly as its being streamed (higher sound control and quality), and turns it to mp3. and then all that was left to do was send it to my phone, since it has bluetooth (and so does my tablet pc-and they connect- that was another couple of well spent hours). and now i have fun rings, as well as some music rings (right now crash test dummies the superman song, but i also stored manu chao trapped by love).
next time, i'll give you a list of my fav freeware (i have soooo many for all kinds of functions).

this past weekend, i went to lisa's son's first birthday party. it was great. so sweet, and no joke, and its not b/c i'm biased, but he was the cutest kid there. soooo adorable. i want to take him home and never give him back. he got some great gifts, good food. and it was nice to get together with the girls again, its been a while. will have some pics soon.
and this sunday we're having dinner at my house, potluck. very excited about that. might as well enjoy my place and the balcony and the view before i move. there's been an offer, so we're waiting to see what happens. will update soon. and will have pics from the potluck after the weekend.
on the bright side, if the offer goes thru, i'm out of my place at the end of june, and i'm going to travel a bit. too excited about that. vancouver, here i come (and going to try to head out to pei this summer too- if not then a little later on but will be there).