Saturday, April 29, 2006
best artist you probably don't know
you know you're getting older when...
this is how i know that i'm getting older. what used to take me a few hourse to recoup after a night of drinking, now takes 2 days. seriously.
when i was younger, we went on months of binge drinking. so, we would drink like banchees, sleep for 3 or four hours, get up, get ready, eat, and start the partying all over again. and it wasn't a problem. now, good lord. i'm still recovering after having a night out at a restaurant and just not realizing that there was too much red wine being poured.
i know that if that's the biggest of my problems about getting older, i'm souring, and i don't do it enough that it would be a problem, but its still one of those things that makes you realize that you're not as quick to recover as you used to be.
maybe its a matter of getting used to it again. like training. if you can't walk for more than 1 km, the trick is to get out there and do it slowly in shorter distances, till you can do 1 km no problem. drinking, i think, is the same. you have to work yourself into it.
ah, the good ol' days when you didn't have to pre-drink to drink. rest in peace my former drinking self. sob.
when i was younger, we went on months of binge drinking. so, we would drink like banchees, sleep for 3 or four hours, get up, get ready, eat, and start the partying all over again. and it wasn't a problem. now, good lord. i'm still recovering after having a night out at a restaurant and just not realizing that there was too much red wine being poured.
i know that if that's the biggest of my problems about getting older, i'm souring, and i don't do it enough that it would be a problem, but its still one of those things that makes you realize that you're not as quick to recover as you used to be.
maybe its a matter of getting used to it again. like training. if you can't walk for more than 1 km, the trick is to get out there and do it slowly in shorter distances, till you can do 1 km no problem. drinking, i think, is the same. you have to work yourself into it.
ah, the good ol' days when you didn't have to pre-drink to drink. rest in peace my former drinking self. sob.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
shouldn't this be a happy day?
i have a friend, actually one of two, who is getting married and, well, its not a happy day. long story short, the priest would do well not to ask "if there is anybody here who objects.....".
now, here's how bad this is. i was talking to a friend that is also not happy happy joy joy about this, and we were joking that maybe we should get him a stripper for the stag, and maybe me would sleep with her. but, as my friend pointed out, he would probably sleep with her, and our friend would still marry him. yup, you read that correctly.
so, i find myself thinking, do i get the stripper and hope that he sleeps with her? it would be a nice sacrifice on his behalf b/c everyone would now have a legit reason to get up and object. yeah, that would help. how do i get his a stripper and secretly convince him (ha ha, like i need to convince a guy to sleep with a stripper at a stag when he's plastered) that he should sleep with the random stripper. or, could i pay her more under the table to come on to him stronger and to do the deed? is that ethical? do i care? so many questions.
now, here's how bad this is. i was talking to a friend that is also not happy happy joy joy about this, and we were joking that maybe we should get him a stripper for the stag, and maybe me would sleep with her. but, as my friend pointed out, he would probably sleep with her, and our friend would still marry him. yup, you read that correctly.
so, i find myself thinking, do i get the stripper and hope that he sleeps with her? it would be a nice sacrifice on his behalf b/c everyone would now have a legit reason to get up and object. yeah, that would help. how do i get his a stripper and secretly convince him (ha ha, like i need to convince a guy to sleep with a stripper at a stag when he's plastered) that he should sleep with the random stripper. or, could i pay her more under the table to come on to him stronger and to do the deed? is that ethical? do i care? so many questions.
Monday, April 24, 2006
leaves a bad taste in your mouth
tell me if this doesn't make you gag.
there are three different kinds of couples. the ones that show affection, but are not into overt public displays of affection (limited to a light kiss or holding hands). completely acceptable.
there are the "have no problems with public affection", who will kiss, but not make out, and go a little too far, but it's still kind of cute, more funny for us having to see it.
and then there's "get a room, ewww" PDA (public displays of affection). these are the people that noone likes. its not cool. you give them a look as you walk by, you mumble things under your breath. and you know that their relationship is going to last for another week.
i went to rent a movie the other day, and there's a couple in there. and the guy is full out stroking the girlfriend's butt. not petting or touching, i mean full out circular motion open palm stroking. now, get a little outside your universe. nobody wants to see that. there is no need to stroke your girlfriend's butt when you're standing in a rental store picking out a movie. i'm sure she knows that you care about her, and that you're attracted to her. i'm sure that if your hand does not touch her for 10 minutes, she won't fall apart. pick a movie, rent it, get in the car, walk into the apartment, and then stroke away. hell, you don't even have to wait that long, just wait till you get in the car. but show some restraint.
there are three different kinds of couples. the ones that show affection, but are not into overt public displays of affection (limited to a light kiss or holding hands). completely acceptable.
there are the "have no problems with public affection", who will kiss, but not make out, and go a little too far, but it's still kind of cute, more funny for us having to see it.
and then there's "get a room, ewww" PDA (public displays of affection). these are the people that noone likes. its not cool. you give them a look as you walk by, you mumble things under your breath. and you know that their relationship is going to last for another week.
i went to rent a movie the other day, and there's a couple in there. and the guy is full out stroking the girlfriend's butt. not petting or touching, i mean full out circular motion open palm stroking. now, get a little outside your universe. nobody wants to see that. there is no need to stroke your girlfriend's butt when you're standing in a rental store picking out a movie. i'm sure she knows that you care about her, and that you're attracted to her. i'm sure that if your hand does not touch her for 10 minutes, she won't fall apart. pick a movie, rent it, get in the car, walk into the apartment, and then stroke away. hell, you don't even have to wait that long, just wait till you get in the car. but show some restraint.
Monday, April 17, 2006
i want one of these
i was surfin' the net the other day, and while checking out one particular site, the nature of which eludes me at the moment, i saw an interesting feature that came with the service provided.
i kid you not, it was called the "moron removal tool". oh god, what i could do with a tool like that.
i walk into a store, i'm paying for X at the register, i give the girl money, she owes me change. she punches the amount i give her into the register. she owes me $1.49. i say, i'll give you $.51 cents. she looks at me, puzzled, then panicked. the wheels in her little pin-sized head are turned. i can see what she's thinking "if i owe her X and she gives me Y, what will i owe her?" and so she stands there for about a minute. i see how badly she wants to pull out a calculator. i'm thinking "what excuse will she use to pull out a calculator". but she struggles thru. so i say "you owe me $2.00." she looks at me, distrustingly, wondering if i'm right. so i stand there for some more seconds, time is slowly ticking away. and i know she hates me, b/c i'm making her count. why couldn't i just have let her give me the $1.49.
then, in the perfect world, i would have pulled out my "moron removal tool" and, zap, she's gone, replaced by someone who can actually do some simple math.
ah, what a great world it would be with a tool like that.
i kid you not, it was called the "moron removal tool". oh god, what i could do with a tool like that.
i walk into a store, i'm paying for X at the register, i give the girl money, she owes me change. she punches the amount i give her into the register. she owes me $1.49. i say, i'll give you $.51 cents. she looks at me, puzzled, then panicked. the wheels in her little pin-sized head are turned. i can see what she's thinking "if i owe her X and she gives me Y, what will i owe her?" and so she stands there for about a minute. i see how badly she wants to pull out a calculator. i'm thinking "what excuse will she use to pull out a calculator". but she struggles thru. so i say "you owe me $2.00." she looks at me, distrustingly, wondering if i'm right. so i stand there for some more seconds, time is slowly ticking away. and i know she hates me, b/c i'm making her count. why couldn't i just have let her give me the $1.49.
then, in the perfect world, i would have pulled out my "moron removal tool" and, zap, she's gone, replaced by someone who can actually do some simple math.
ah, what a great world it would be with a tool like that.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
My Theme Summer
I just finished reading The Davinci Code, and i'm on a mission. this summer shall be my "conspiracy theory summer".
Thursday, April 13, 2006
word of the day is.....
well, its that time of year again. a long weekend (more widely known as easter). and there's a good feeling in the air. a feelings of getting things done so that you can leave work early, or chatting it up with co-workers so that you don't have to get it done at all (the "i'll deal with in on monday" syndrome).
so in the theme of the holiday, i'm doing an easter word of the day. and apparently, that word is "TUR*DUCK*IN". yes, turduckin. doesn't it just roll of the tongue? doesn't it sound so tempting. actually, it's, in my opinion, quite disgusting.
here's what it is, in case you're not into gross stuff, and you actually have no clue as to what it is:
it is a chicken, stuffed into a duck, which are then stuffed into a turkey. if you say, yum, let me point out that you are a sick being and you should not be allowed others diners. if you say, ewww, you are right my friend (and i am proud to call you my friend). i too was disgusted by the turduckin. what in hell is the allure? why do you feel that you need three birds stuffed into one as a meal. and can't you decide which one it is that you want? i mean, good god, hmmm, do i want a turkey, or a duck, or a chicken? its not that big a decision. decide on ONE. and even if i didn't want to decide on one, just make them seperately. why the need to stuff all of that into one turkey.
have you ever heard the word gluttony. if you need to take all that food, and mesh it into one, you, not my friend, have other issues than not being able to make a decision. and i finish this by repeating, EWWWWWW. turduckin.
so in the theme of the holiday, i'm doing an easter word of the day. and apparently, that word is "TUR*DUCK*IN". yes, turduckin. doesn't it just roll of the tongue? doesn't it sound so tempting. actually, it's, in my opinion, quite disgusting.
here's what it is, in case you're not into gross stuff, and you actually have no clue as to what it is:
it is a chicken, stuffed into a duck, which are then stuffed into a turkey. if you say, yum, let me point out that you are a sick being and you should not be allowed others diners. if you say, ewww, you are right my friend (and i am proud to call you my friend). i too was disgusted by the turduckin. what in hell is the allure? why do you feel that you need three birds stuffed into one as a meal. and can't you decide which one it is that you want? i mean, good god, hmmm, do i want a turkey, or a duck, or a chicken? its not that big a decision. decide on ONE. and even if i didn't want to decide on one, just make them seperately. why the need to stuff all of that into one turkey.
have you ever heard the word gluttony. if you need to take all that food, and mesh it into one, you, not my friend, have other issues than not being able to make a decision. and i finish this by repeating, EWWWWWW. turduckin.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
perspectives
i've been lacking in the creative brain processes lately (a nice way of saying i have nothing to say lately).
it might be b/c i'm too tired. work is draining me. its relentless, its never ending. its forests and forests of trees going down.
or it might be that b/c i'm working so much, i don't really deal with all of my personal and financial matters (like paying bills on time) so i don't have much interactions with the evil overwhelming forces that we call "businesses", and therefore, i don't have anything annoying to write about.
but, i felt that my guilt was taking over, and i had to write something. so, i'm using some of the things that have happened recently to write a post. its more a pact, an agreement, a promise.
you see, in the last week, i have experienced 2 deaths. one very close to me, one very close through association. but, as if that's not bad enough, that is on top of all the other deaths (like 6 in the last 2.5 years). so, i want to make a deal with all the people in my life: my family, my friends, my friends friends, their families, people i might some day care about, people that everyone i know know, and so on.
my proposal is this. i'm tired. i'm exhausted, i'm emotionally drained. i will get to know you, i will let you into my life. we'll have laughs, kicks, we'll make fun of other people together. we'll cry, we'll hit, we'll try to destroy some random things that don't matter except to some really silly people, and in exchange, i don't want your eternal devotion, or anything of the sort. all i ask is that you bend the forces of nature and if you're in any 6 degrees of seperation with ME, you never die. this is a legally binding oral contact and i will expect you to deliver on your end. if, however, you decide to break this contract, you agree to the following terms:
1. i get to curse you;
2. i get to hate you for awhile;
3. i get to give everything that you owned away to charity or throw it out (unless i really like it and then i'll just keep it for myself);
4. at your wake/funeral, i get to make lots of jokes in your expense;
5. i get to tell everyone all the really embarassing things that you never wanted anyone to know;
6. if you happened to win a lottery/or you were about to publish or invent something, i get to totally take credit for it, without going to hell for it when i die (you've broken your contract so i am allowed to break mine too);
7. if you go to heaven and i go to, well, the other place, and vice versa, i get to come to wherever you are, and i get to kick your ass.
it might be b/c i'm too tired. work is draining me. its relentless, its never ending. its forests and forests of trees going down.
or it might be that b/c i'm working so much, i don't really deal with all of my personal and financial matters (like paying bills on time) so i don't have much interactions with the evil overwhelming forces that we call "businesses", and therefore, i don't have anything annoying to write about.
but, i felt that my guilt was taking over, and i had to write something. so, i'm using some of the things that have happened recently to write a post. its more a pact, an agreement, a promise.
you see, in the last week, i have experienced 2 deaths. one very close to me, one very close through association. but, as if that's not bad enough, that is on top of all the other deaths (like 6 in the last 2.5 years). so, i want to make a deal with all the people in my life: my family, my friends, my friends friends, their families, people i might some day care about, people that everyone i know know, and so on.
my proposal is this. i'm tired. i'm exhausted, i'm emotionally drained. i will get to know you, i will let you into my life. we'll have laughs, kicks, we'll make fun of other people together. we'll cry, we'll hit, we'll try to destroy some random things that don't matter except to some really silly people, and in exchange, i don't want your eternal devotion, or anything of the sort. all i ask is that you bend the forces of nature and if you're in any 6 degrees of seperation with ME, you never die. this is a legally binding oral contact and i will expect you to deliver on your end. if, however, you decide to break this contract, you agree to the following terms:
1. i get to curse you;
2. i get to hate you for awhile;
3. i get to give everything that you owned away to charity or throw it out (unless i really like it and then i'll just keep it for myself);
4. at your wake/funeral, i get to make lots of jokes in your expense;
5. i get to tell everyone all the really embarassing things that you never wanted anyone to know;
6. if you happened to win a lottery/or you were about to publish or invent something, i get to totally take credit for it, without going to hell for it when i die (you've broken your contract so i am allowed to break mine too);
7. if you go to heaven and i go to, well, the other place, and vice versa, i get to come to wherever you are, and i get to kick your ass.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
get rid of it, throw it away, wake up
too many people i know are still using IE and i can't figure out why.
am i missing something. is there something actually good about IE that i just am not using? i don't think so. but lets do a comparison of what i have in firefox to IE:
* firefox: awesome extensions like tabs, customized tabs, adds ins for del.icio.us/clipmarks/kaboodle/evernote/mystickies
* create your own searchengine (rollyo)
* great skins
* highlight text
well, i don't want to go on and on, those are just a few of the things that i use daily. but with all of these things, and less security and bug worries, why would someone still use IE?
am i missing something. is there something actually good about IE that i just am not using? i don't think so. but lets do a comparison of what i have in firefox to IE:
* firefox: awesome extensions like tabs, customized tabs, adds ins for del.icio.us/clipmarks/kaboodle/evernote/mystickies
* create your own searchengine (rollyo)
* great skins
* highlight text
well, i don't want to go on and on, those are just a few of the things that i use daily. but with all of these things, and less security and bug worries, why would someone still use IE?
The End of Privacy - Whitaker