Big Wide World

i was surfin' the net the other day, and while checking out one particular site, the nature of which eludes me at the moment, i saw an interesting feature that came with the service provided.

i kid you not, it was called the "moron removal tool". oh god, what i could do with a tool like that.

i walk into a store, i'm paying for X at the register, i give the girl money, she owes me change. she punches the amount i give her into the register. she owes me $1.49. i say, i'll give you $.51 cents. she looks at me, puzzled, then panicked. the wheels in her little pin-sized head are turned. i can see what she's thinking "if i owe her X and she gives me Y, what will i owe her?" and so she stands there for about a minute. i see how badly she wants to pull out a calculator. i'm thinking "what excuse will she use to pull out a calculator". but she struggles thru. so i say "you owe me $2.00." she looks at me, distrustingly, wondering if i'm right. so i stand there for some more seconds, time is slowly ticking away. and i know she hates me, b/c i'm making her count. why couldn't i just have let her give me the $1.49.

then, in the perfect world, i would have pulled out my "moron removal tool" and, zap, she's gone, replaced by someone who can actually do some simple math.

ah, what a great world it would be with a tool like that.